Working towards my craft room

I want a craft room. 

I have for the longest time and I have a small box room in my house spare so it’s weird that I never actually had it. 

It was a promise that my ex used to say. "I promise we’ll get it sorted". "I promise we’ll get it started this weekend". "I promise you’ll have it by XYZ". But it never came to fruition. And when we split 2 years ago, I never got round to it either. The spare room just became a dumping ground for everything that didn’t have a space and as time when on it became so unmanageable that the idea of tackling it was daunting. 

That was until a few weeks ago, I was having a manic moment and decided that I was fed up and wanted to throw everything in my house out. So, I went into the room with black bags and started binning sooooo much. The way I figured it was if I haven’t used it in as long as o can remember then chances are I don’t need it and it can go. 12 bags down and I’m still binning stuff. There is so much crap in there that a hoarder would feel at home but I’m starting to lose my momentum. Between pain flares and the heat of the summer, I’m hitting a brick wall and I’m only half way done. 

It’s started to bleed out though into other parts of my house too. I have a pantry where we store the tinned foods and whatnot, and I’ve been going through that trying to make it nice and streamlined. I’ve gone though the teens room and binned old stuff he doesn’t use/need (with his permission) and I’ve gone though the units in the living room. 

I have this weird compulsion to simplify my life and I think it is connected to my chronic illness. It restricts so much of my life and I have zero control over it. My body doesn’t care if I have plans. My body doesn’t care if I have things I have to do. If it wants to go bush then it will, regardless of how I feel about it. So, when it comes to other parts of my life, I seem to be obsessively trying to micro manage. Even when it doesn’t really need to be. 

This morning I went downstairs and the teen had left a throw unfolded and had moved the cushions. I felt itchy when I sat on the sofa and couldn’t figure out why till I got up for my first coffee of the day and I folded the throw and fixed the cushion on the way past. I felt better. 

We got a food shop delivered and the teen just put the bags inside each other (which is totally fine and what we have done for a while) but something about it made me agitated so I pulled them out and folded them all into triangles and I instantly felt better. 

I’m going to keep an eye on it because I can see how it could easily spiral into mild OCD. When Covid-19 hit, I developed agoraphobia which was horrendous so I really don’t want my brain to start getting compulsive over things. I’m still trying to force myself to leave the house, I don’t have the energy to fight even more with my mind. 

I’ve barely got the energy to finish the future craft room. 


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